Last week, On August 12th, I turned 23 years old. What does that mean to me?
2 more years until I can rent a car on my own during a vacation.
3 more years until I’m kicked out of my parent’s health insurance.
Haha no totally kidding, turning 23 is way more than that and today; in honor of celebrating the 365 days that I danced around the sun, I’m sharing with you 23 things that I’ve learned in the past 23 years.
~here is goes:
1. it’s difficult in the beginning, but be strong and move onward
Anything new will be difficult. As someone who is extremely sensitive, change (especially into a new job or school routine) drains the life out of me. But learning to cheer myself up and be mindful of my self care routine can make the transitions easier.
2. always keep a childlike spirit
Being naturally stress prone, tense and a wee bit anxious makes me harden up. But reaching goals is not fun, when you were miserable on the way there. So choosing to lighten up really is important to me. Learning how to embrace the child within, laughing and staying playful helps keep me in perspective and sane.
3. whenever an idea comes up; capture the excitement and EXECUTE!
From starting a blog to a Youtube channel to a photography business to a food business. Some things stuck around; while others flopped. But do I ever regret it? Absolutely not. If I’m curious about something, if it FEELS good in the moment, I’ll chase it through to the end. I never want to look back on my life with regrets so if I want to do something, I’ll do it. What’s important is evaluating and asking myself if it’s still something that still makes me happy.
4. learn how to say no and when to say yes
I’m a people pleaser by nature. I love making others feel good and it’s hard af for me to say no. But learning how to say no is crucial. I have to understand that time is limited and that if something doesn’t light me up, if it’s not a “HELL YES” in my heart, then it’s probably going in the no pile. There are exceptions, like sucking up and going to your day job so you can pay off those bills but in general, doing what’s truly important and YAY-worthy is everything.
5. there’s no such thing as failing; only freakin hard lessons
Oh I could name all the oopsie moments that I’ve had and call it a failure. Or I can look hard at them and say “thank you”. Every misstep, every slip up, every mistake made is GROWTH.
6. date the nice guy
One of my biggest regrets in highschool was not dating Myles sooner. We were friends but I was busy getting distracted by the smooth talkin’ boys. Loving Myles taught me how to value and love myself. I never question his love for me and that, that’s so incredibly empowering.
7. put self-love in front of everything else
It’s not self-fish. It’s the most selfLESS thing to do.
8. opportunities will come up; try to think them through before committing
Somethings might sound sexy but do it for the right reasons. ASK WHY.
9. make friends from all walks of life
Love those who are different. Love those who are the same. Compliment a stranger. Join a new organization or club. Don’t be afraid to make friends with new people. That’s where some of my most enriching friendships have blossomed from. Also, instagram is what I like to call the dating app but for friends lol.
10. be kind
To yourself. To our planet. To other beings. I practice this daily. Sometimes I slip up but there’s always a way to come back to loving kindness.
11. follow thought leaders, authors, blogs, books and teachers that speak to YOUR soul
If I’m not loving a book, I stop. If someone rubs me the wrong way with their borderline abusive “motivational” tactics, I back off. There’s a lot of information in the world. You dont have to follow each and every one of them. Do what you feel is right for you.
12. sometimes, doing nothing and having nothing scheduled is exactly what I need
Creating white space in order to be creative and free is refreshing and a wonderful way to reset. I love saving this for my weekends.
13. speak up and don’t be afraid to SHINE
English is my second language. Growing up, I played catch up with my peers. I second guessed myself. I worried if I’ll look silly or weird or GASP!…. worst of all.. different.
Speaking is still a struggle for me but the difference is… I make an intention to speak up… even if I stutter or if my voice shakes. I deserve to be seen and heard. So do you.
14. ask for help
I don’t know everything and I might never learn how to do my taxes or use google analytics. But there are people who can fill the gaps. Don’t hesitate to reach out.
15. act how I want to feel
my quick temper has put me in a lot of difficult situations. I can say that I’ve improved SO much in this department compared to early on in my teen years but it’s still there. The way I handle and cope now is to mindfully stay still, FEEL it then move forward and do something that I know will make me happier. For example, forcing myself to smile, taking a walk outside, facetiming a friend. They do wonders in shifting my state of mind. Learning how to process, handle and express my emotions; all while embracing it’s wild twists and turns is the name of the game.
16. invest in self improvement to expand in various ways, not to make up for feeling less than or in lack of. We are all born worthy, deserving and SO incredibly capable.
17. when in doubt, look back on all the mountains that I’ve overcome
When I feel small, I think back to what I’ve jumped over in the past. For example, reminding myself that I spoke in front of 500 people about my journey as an entrepreneur. Like , if I can do that. I can do anything. Because ya girl is not really the public speaking pro here.
18. embrace my introverted nature
I used to push myself to do, connect, get social on my down time, when in reality, ALL I wanted to do was to stay home and zen out. I’ve learned that taking time to myself is how I show up best for others. So for the benefit of all, choosing to stay in is sometimes what i need. and to never feel guilty about it.
19. do what makes me truly happy, not what I think should make me happy
I wish I could say that I love drinking. But I don’t. Like I can if I want to but that’s not how I choose to have fun. Bring me to the lake for a bike ride and I’d be the happiest girl in the world. I’m a highly sensitive creature so there doesn’t have to be a lot of stimuli for me to feel excited. Therefore, I need to be honest with how I have fun.
20. if somethings unclear, take action. it’s better than over thinking.
Clarity comes from engagement not thought. Thank you to the wise and beautiful Marie Forleo for ingraining this in me years ago.
21. get financially smart; it’s worth it
Money is not something that I want because I’m lusting for the new iPhone. Money is a way for me to help my family out, contribute to causes, gift others, care for myself, and buy cool experiences (paying for our Costa Rica trip will always be oneo of my favorite accomplishments). Knowing how to handle it helps me with alllll that, so getting real and taking time to learn how to manage it; is smart.
22. don’t shy away from hard work
I love to work. I love creating and building and strategizing and whatever. Maybe you don’t. That’s okay. But working makes me happy and if that makes me happy. I’m going to keep doing it without feeling guilty. End of story.
23. what people think of me is none of my dang business
There’s something so liberating when you actively choose not to care about what others think. Not in a rude manner. And by no means am I on the level of an 88 year old (those ladies are my heroes, they don’t give two shits haha!). What I mean is, if I’m doing my best. If i’m pushing myself and doing what speaks to my heart, that’s all that matters. If you don’t like it, if you don’t sit well with how or who I am. That’s okay, my friend. I still honor and love you the same but will gleefully dance onward.
bonus: be vulnerable, open up and love whole-heartedly. always.
Thanks so much for reading this through. This came from the deepest part of my soul and heart and I hope that you find light in my words.
with gratitude,
Bella
